This quote from Lao Tzu contains a gloriously simple, yet powerful method for beating depression and anxiety.
This quote really struck a chord.It felt so simple, yet so true. The solution to beating depression and anxiety.
It reminded me of a concept explained in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book ‘Flow’. He says when we’re immersed in a hobby or activity that requires deep concentration, we can reach ‘flow state’.
This extreme state of presence can sometimes feel superhuman. It allows us to perform peak at our mental and physical peak for hours without tiring. There are no internal filters hindering us. It’s an addictive experience. There’s certainly no mental energy spare for feeling anxious or depressed.
Presence in the dating world
Worrying about the past or the future can ruin anyone’s dating life. Both can make us unnecessarily cautious.
Have you ever refrained from making a move on someone because of something that happened in the past?
“Younger women don’t like me.”
“I’m no good at talking to women in nightclubs.”
“I’ve already been rejected twice tonight.”
Maybe you’re terrified of something in the future…
“What if she rejects me?”
“What if her friends laugh at me?”
“What if she has a steroid-infused boyfriend with a bad temper.”
These thoughts have paralysed so many men, leaving the potential love of their life to waltz out of their lives forever.
What if, instead of focusing on your thoughts, you concentrated only on getting your body in front of her to say hello?
This is better than dilly-dallying thinking of the best approach for the following reasons:
- there’s no time to think of stupid excuses
- there’s less chance of the opportunity disappearing
and most importantly…
- you’ll be in the present moment.
That means no nerves. You’ll come across as more confident than the dude who thought of the perfect canned line.
How to be present
“Be present” is a simple concept, but tough in practice. Nevertheless, you can teach it to yourself. .
Whenever you see a woman, train yourself to move your feet faster than your mind can think. Get in front of her as fast as possible. Trust your brain to think of something half-decent to say. The more you do this, the more natural it will become.
Mediation is also a fantastic practice to help you become more present. I’m hearing great things about the app Headspace.
Most of society is stuck in their thoughts. They’re too caught up in their anxieties to take advantage of awesome opportunities. If you can teach yourself to stay present, you’ll be that awesome carefree dude that stands out from the crowd.
FREE DOWNLOAD: How To Be Fearless
For more advice on how to approach women through twice, including tips on what to say to a girl you just met, download my free How To Be Fearless guide.
The document includes:
The science of why we’re scared to speak to gorgeous girls
8 attitude shifts to kill your fear of the opposite sex
17 clever conversational tricks to help you chat up women
What to say to a girl you just met
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