The Truth About ‘Approach Anxiety’


In this guest post, Las Vegas dating coach Drew Schroeder explains why ‘approach anxiety’ is a myth and how you can get over your fear of speaking to women.

First of all, I want to thank The London Dater for letting me post on his blog.

I’ve spotted a few posts on it about the fear of speaking to women. In the pick-up artist community, we call that ‘approach anxiety’. The phrase is so commonly used, but that term is very misleading and poisonous.

People are literally self-diagnosing themselves with ANXIETY! That is messed up. I have before seen Facebook ads of guys trying to sell ‘approach anxiety pills’ so you can finally approach like a beast and conquer that anxiety problem.

Those pills have got to be as effective as the male enhancement pills advertised on porn sites.


Here’s a little hint. You probably don’t have approach anxiety.

Some people would rather say they have approach anxiety, than admit they are just shy talking to women.

They don’t understand that anxiety is a real serious disorder.

If you were actually suffering from ‘approach anxiety’, you wouldn’t approach males, people at work or even go to bars in the first place.

How to deal with shyness around women

Luckily there’s a great method to dealing with shyness when approaching women. It’s called ‘taking action’ and there is no way around it.

If you actually do have an anxiety disorder, the treatment is the same. Hiding or avoiding will only reinforce the feeling of shyness and could possibly land you in an even deeper hole.

Here are three ways you can dig yourself out;

1. Approach 10-50 sets of people

Rapidly approach people. Each ‘set’ of people should be no longer than a 30-second interaction, but aim for 5 seconds.

Do at least five SETS with small bars and 40 or 50 sets for the busier ones. These are just warm-ups, as if stretching before the actual workout!

Simply complimenting their dress or hair will do the trick. You dont want to have a long conversation with them. The objective is just get warmed up.

2. Say ‘cheers!’

If you’re initially too shy to start a conversation, grab a drink and ‘cheers’ people.

Do this several times to get a feel of the warm uplifting groups of people and colder groups.

When you’re done, go back around and start conversations with the friendlier people.

3. Build your state

I like to ‘warm up’ in the night club by going on the dancefloor and feeling the music. It helps me get in a good state. (I’m a great dancer being the white boy that I am!)

It’s easy to be high-energy on the dancefloor, which should get you in the mood to speak to people.

Try dancing with groups of people, if you’re initially too withdrawn to pick one girl in the group to try and dance with.

I go into more detail on these tips in this YouTube video.

If you want to get past that first hump and start talking to women, the only way is to actually start talking to women. Make sense?

Drew Schroeder recently moved out to Las Vegas and became a pickup artist to learn how to attract women. To learn more about Drew, check out his YouTube channel


For all the information you’ll ever need on overcoming your fear of approaching women, download our free ‘Fearless’ PDF document. .

The document features;

  • The science of why we’re scared to speak to gorgeous girls

  • 8 attitude shifts to kill your fear of the opposite sex

  • 17 clever conversational tricks to help you chat up women

  • What to say to a girl you just met

  • My top tip for becoming the coolest guy at the nightclub

Drop your email address in the box below to download this information and instantly improve your dating life.

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